Its a very uncomfortable position to be in, to say the least.
There is no assurance of safety in this world. Even less so in a nuclear world.
You can take some comfort in the fact that deterrence seems to have worked for the past 68 years, but that must come with the admission that some of that period was also very uncomfortable.
I think Kim is striving to preserve his regime through deterrence, but he doesn't know how to play the 'game'.
Overt threats, blackmail, and criminality do not mesh well with a policy of deterrence. It is, instead, a mutual understanding that must necessarily come with a level of trust, even if that trust is built on something like the fact that both sides believe in MAD.
There is no trust in the Kim regime, except a faint hope that he isn't feeling suicidal.
Destroying the threat - especially by nuclear means - is a rather desperate option. But if the goal is an assurance of safety from Kim, which as I said does not really exist, what are the other options?
None of them are obvious or easy.